Dear Noel Gallagher from Oasis

Last night there was a fondue party. If you don’t know, fondue is when you dip food into some sauce or oil and eat it. It tastes good. However, you’re a rock star and I bet you know that.

People were having fun when somebody broke out the guitars and began singing. It started innocently enough. The guitarist played some Nirvana and sang “Come As You Are”. However, things began to unravel when the host requested “Wonderwall”, a hit from your best-selling record “What’s the Story, Morning Glory?”

To be honest I don’t like your music. It was always too cocky and British-sounding to me. But that doesn’t give me an excuse for what happened next. You know that part when the drums come in after the first chorus? Well, we didn’t have typical percussion. Everybody was singing and I think somebody had a maraca. It sounded pretty good, but then I started in with a cow-bell that I found behind a couch. Everybody started laughing because of that SNL skit with Will Ferrell. I played it just like that.

It ruined the campfire vibe that the room had going. I apologize. I wish I could say that I wouldn’t do it again, but I would because it was the best part of the night.

Sincerely,

Fergis T. McGillicuddy

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Dear WordPress

I made a new blog today. I’d been using a competitor for a year. It is good to have a change. I’d like to change the look of the template but I can’t because I’m using your webhosting. I should wrap my brain around actually installing WordPress, but I’m a coward.

Thank you for developing this code and I wish you the best that web designers like yourselves can imagine.

Sincerely,

Fergis T. McGillicuddy

Another year, another crushing defeat

Blast. Only 250 points away from the prize. It happened to be an LED camping lantern. Not too shabby.
Everybody excited for 2006? The people behind the Husk sure aren’t. Every minute of everyday brings us closer to looming shortages of water and oil, a more crowded and violent planet and full-on destruction.

Public Husk Predictions for 2006:

1) Sale of post-Apocalyptic goggles increases.

2) George W. sprouts horns and a tail in front of the Washington press Corp. The White House turns red.

3) Another season of Survivor goes unnoticed.

4) Dr. Phil is charged with having sex with a goat.

5) That goat is Michael Jackson.

6) China lands on the moon and immediately sets up the first sweatshop in space. It makes American flags.

7) I run as a Green party candidate in the next Canadian federal election. The next election will be called as soon as the results of the last election (Jan.23) are returned. I lose to a Conservative moose named Curtis Taxless.

8) Google will start a micronation in the South Pacific. They threaten to remove their search engine from the web unless the UN recognizes their sovereignty. Google-opia is born as Kofi Annan is an avid gmail user.

9) This is the best post of the year.

10) A new hat is invented called the trout-stick.

Enjoy everybody.

Christmas eve dice and the husk

Every Christmas eve my family plays dice. The ritual has turned into a serious tournament. There is a prize and a commemorative plaque for the winner. Competition is stiff as dice is a luck-based game. I haven’t won it yet. But it has been a good year so I’m feeling confident.

I realized the one year anniversary of this blog came and went on Dec. 15. Happy belated birthday mutant. The blog was never intended to be read by anyone so to all the fine people who drop in occasionally and comment, thank you. You are all invited for Gin fizz if you’re ever in Edmonton.

Online publishing is an interesting concept. To reach a large audience you must be dedicated and have something to say. There isn’t any money in it either. Most hobbies are like that.

The Husk hasn’t been given the dedication or direction to truly set it apart from all the other millions out there. But that’s okay. Every thing comes in time. The new project should be fairly exciting. The content will be a snap but the design is another story.

Enjoy the holidays. Never mind the perpetual hangover. January is at hand and 2006 promises to be a definitive year in the history of the planet.

Take it easy.

Merry Christmas

Drunk Mattress

I hope everybody is doing well.

I read on CBC the murder rate in our fair city of Edmonton has increased 30 per cent. Scary? Well…if you are a meth enthusiast these aren’t the glory days.

I’m currently locked in a basement somewhere is southern Alberta. Travelled eight hours to get here. My best friend invited me to his work for some beers. He sells beds. He’s still on the clock.

Anyway.

Hibernation

Christmas holidays.

Not looking forward to the down time. I don’t deal with it constructively. Especially at this time of the year. It’s all buttertarts and rum. I get fat and lazy.

It’s time to change up the blog. A Public Husk is a conceptless blog without the soul to keep it going. I’ve got a fancy idea for something interesting. I could do it now, but I figure I should make it completely new elsewhere. Maybe with WordPress or something.

There will be a future sliced inside the belly of a jolly st. nick soon. You’ll see.

I want a new government for Christmas

It is federal election time in the fair land of Canada. I predict the Liberals will be leading the country in a minority government yet again. No drastic gains will be made by any of the major parties. Canadians will be left wondering what it was all for.

The answer-political hubris. Partisanship has been plaguing the commons since Jean left. Minority governments are like that I guess.

I suggest we execute an elaborate ballot spoiling campaign. Write your favourite vegetable where an ‘x’ should go.