Fergis and Wild Turkey charged into the Old Navy not for two for one deals on flip-flops made by slave labour, but for striking fear into the hearts of employees in pleated Dockers.
“Sir, I don’t believe we have any T-shirts to fit your bird,” said a young employee before being bowled over by the giant bird. Wild Turkey had a spite for them ever since Old Navy’s last advertising campaign. Fergis didn’t like the idea of ambling into the nearest shopping centre simply to cause a ruckus but those pleated Dockers commercials pissed him off too.
No sales representative was spared from receiving a series of brutal wet willies and fierce melvins. That’s a wedgie from the front, kids.
“Well Wild Turkey…we broke up the store and not a single pair of pants remains unsoiled,” said Fergis as he observed the destruction of everything in sight. “Why don’t we get some pumpkin to eat?”
“Glu-lu-lu,” said Wild Turkey.
The employees wept in the fetal position as Wild Turkey and Fergis exited the store through the front window.