Presidential Suicide Letter to Mrs. Bush without "o" or "u"

Dear Baby,

I’ve been fighting the decent, clean fight and I’m tired. Enemies are everywhere these days. Hiding in the garbage cans and in the cars of free Americans. I can’t take it. I’m hanging myself with the American flag in the presidential bath area. Tell Dickhead Cheney that I hated the time he ate my steak and didn’t ask first. It was my steak. Mine. There isn’t a free place here in this heavenly land. I tried. I’ll find him and give him a stiff nipple twist.

Night Legs, I hardly knew ye.


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