Captain Bad Buckle O’Fee Sets Sail With a Crew

“Greetings Fergis and Wild Turkey. We’ve been waiting,” I say. Laughter from the audience. “Rather than contemplate your next actions, I suggest you listen for a spell.”

I walk over to the two in attempt to speak candidly. “I’ve been very pleased with your performance this evening. The eating contest and the retail smash-up have been hits. You deserve to relax for the last bit of this. Grab some tang and sit down.”

“Glu-lu-lu,” said Wild Turkey. The creature was upset.

“Fine, have it your way,” I turn to the heavens and the clouds part like the red sea. From the skies comes a grand Spanish Galleon with the dreaded Capt. Bad Buckle at the helm. It lands in the field, crushing the two trees and flattening the welcome sign.

“Get on. All of you.” I motion toward the craft with my left hand. One by one the cast of characters pile into the ship clutching their flaws and stories with their recycled prosthetic limbs.

“Where are they going?” Capt. Bad Buckle asks.

“Take them to the edge of the world and then sail into the void,” I say.

I stay behind as the ship drifts off. I curl into the ruined mess of a welcome sign and I fall to sleep.


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