Dear Bushmills Irish Whiskey

I picked up a bottle in honour of St. Patrick’s Day. The label claims to be triple-distilled and you can taste it. There’s over 300 years of experience in that bottle. I’m grateful for that.

Canada is known for its Rye Whiskey, but with the exception of Crown Royal, everything is garbage compared to your smooth taste. Drinking you is like a taste of Irish goodness. All of a sudden I’m transported to a magical green isle and a red-headed beauty named Molly O’Malley is giving me a big Irish hug.

“Aye Fergis, you’re the cutest lad I’ve e’re seen,” Molly says to me while she squishes me with her tiny Irish arms.

“You’re too kind,” I say.

Then we roam the country side in search of four-leafed clovers.

It’s happy isn’t it Bushmills. Thank you for your great beverage.

Yours Truly,

Fergis T. McGillicuddy

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This entry was posted in Liquor.

3 comments on “Dear Bushmills Irish Whiskey

  1. Cassandra says:

    Fergis,
    Be wary of red-headed Irish girls. They may charm you with their delicious liquor and cute accents, but are known to devour men whole. You can tell if they’re harmless or not by their teeth. Be careful, I don’t want any St. Patrick’s Day accidents.

  2. kfx says:

    Bushmill’s in a fine Irish Whiskey. However, I would dispute your statement that it is in any way superior to Canada’s whiskeys.

    Each spirit has an appropriate time and place. Bushmill’s is for when you want to get a bit of a buzz on while trying to impress your girlfriend’s dad that his daughter is banging a man of discernment and taste.

    Canadian Club, on the other hand, is the perfect companion to the desperate, lonesome, late-night wank of a man who has spent his entire evening striking out with easy drunk girls at the bar.

    Finally, when life has dealt you a bum hand, and all that is keeping you from ending up dead beneath an overpass is the warm halo of your own polluted urine, nothing hits the spot like a nice, long pull off a bottle of Russia’s foulest export, Red Tassel vodka.

  3. fergis says:

    I’ve had many glasses of Canadian Club in my day. And I’d agree with your wise observations of the sort that enjoys CC. I don’t enjoy venturing into that territory is all.

    Fortunately, I haven’t had to drink Red Tassel seriously in my days as a man-about-town.

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