This time it will be different. I swear. I’m not so bad. The days of showing up to work under the influence are long over. I promise.
I’m together and I’ll do your company good. I’ll make you money. I won’t steal office supplies. No staplers or paper clips will ever come home with me.
You won’t be sorry. No cruel jokes about your appperance to co-workers. No sleeping with your wife.
Hire me. I’ll do no wrong and you’ll be happy with my attitude and productivity.
Fergis T. McGillicuddy