Dear Dr. Hoffenblauf

Sometime last week my left eye began twitching involuntarily. It spasms as if a pocket of air is trying to escape. It doesn’t hurt, but is odd to have an eyelid sputtering like a hummingbird.

Somebody told me eye spasms are symptomatic of Iron deficiency, which is likely as my recent diet consists of Cap’n Crunch, Slurpees, Coffee and Irish whiskey. However, from what I’ve read, there is no evidence to link eye twitches to Iron deficiency. Stranger still, many medical experts are at a loss to explain how eye twitches are caused at all. Could it be a voodoo hex? Or aliens beaming their Tivo selections into my brain? The dead attempting communication from the other side?

Please advise,

Fergis McGillicuddy

PS: Please don’t tell me that brain worms are eating their way to the outside world through my peepers. I’d rather have them go through the nasal cavity.


6 comments on “Dear Dr. Hoffenblauf

  1. zeke says:

    my eye is also twitching… maybe we’re related. if so, could i borrow a few bucks until payday? you know i’m good for it.

  2. Purple Dragon says:

    Try taking magnesium & calcium.

  3. fergis says:

    Thanks for the advice.

    My eye eventually stopped twitching on its own accord, which is similar to how it began.

    I’m pretty sure it was the aliens.


  4. Tania says:

    Are you aware of the enormous role that magnesium plays in your body, even more critical than calcium? Magnesium is essential in catalyzing over 300 different biochemical processes necessary for proper body function. It regulates the absorption of calcium, potassium and sodium. It plays a key role in energy production, digestion, muscle and bone function, cell production, and in the functioning of the heart, kidneys, adrenals, brain and nervous system. It is a critical nutrient for optimal health, and yet as many as 90 % of us may be magnesium-deficient!
    Magnesium deficiency causes imbalance in the body. It is responsible for fatigue and the inability to sleep, lack of energy, muscle tension, cramps and twitches, headaches, backaches and heart problems. It can cause depression, excessive worry, stress-related irritability and over-sensitivity, accelerated aging, bone spurs, kidney stones, arthritis and osteoporosis. Because it is essential for the absorption of other major minerals, a magnesium deficiency will usually indicate an imbalance in potassium and also calcium.
    Without enough magnesium, calcium cannot be assimilated into the body. Everyone knows that lack of calcium causes many problems, but few people are aware of the real problems caused by excessive calcium. When high doses of calcium are consumed, the calcium will draw the necessary magnesium out of other body parts, thereby causing a magnesium deficiency in those areas. The less magnesium available, the less calcium is absorbed. Excessive calcium in the body is one of the major causes of magnesium deficiency, calcium deficiency and chronic disease.
    Can you really take too much calcium? Absolutely! Excess, unabsorbed calcium becomes a toxin that causes osteoporosis, fragile bones, swollen painful joints, heart malfunction and calcium deposits throughout the body. The recommendation to supplement the diet with high doses of calcium, which in most cases is unabsorbable, is detrimental. In addition to the ailments mentioned above, it will cause a magnesium deficiency or exacerbate an already existing one.
    Excessive magnesium build-up, on the other hand, is impossible. Magnesium does not build up in the body like calcium. Whatever magnesium is not used is eliminated. Taking more calcium will not fix a calcium deficiency. Yet taking more magnesium will handle the calcium deficiency as well as any existing magnesium deficiency.
    Extra magnesium can often mean the difference between a stressed body and a completely relaxed one. Did you know that calcium is responsible for the tensing of a muscle while magnesium is responsible for the relaxing of it? With insufficient magnesium the muscles are unable to relax and will thereby cramp. This same scenario can happen to the heart muscle. Taking magnesium will instantly allow these muscles to relax.
    Don’t ignore you body’s signals. A slight deficiency and you may notice slight depression and lack of well-being. The body is saying, “Help, I’m in trouble.” Then you start getting headaches, pain in the lower back, stiff, tight muscles, particularly in the back. The body is telling you, “I’m in worse trouble, please help me!” Perhaps you ignore these messages, not having learned to read and decipher them. You seek professional advice and . . . well, you know what they advise. Time goes by and now you start getting muscle cramps, then calcium deposits, muscle twitches and tics, high blood pressure. If you ignore it and don’t do anything about these signals, you start to get nervous, you jump at sudden sounds. You have never been this way before. You are told that you are getting old, that you can expect this sort of thing. You now have trouble sleeping and continually wake up feeling tired. Your body goes into spasms (involuntary and abnormal muscular contractions) and jerks. Your body is calling out, “I am talking to you! I need help, now!” Get some magnesium and take it morning and night!
    If you ignore these signals, you may find yourself with a chest pain or suddenly your heart starts racing. It goes out of rhythm. You don’t know what to do and neither does anyone else. Then one day you have been out working hard physically or are under emotional stress, and all of a sudden you have a heart attack. Your body is telling you, “I am in real trouble; we don’t have much time. I need magnesium urgently, now!”
    The following factors deplete magnesium. The more prevalent these factors are in your life, the more magnesium your body will need to replenish its magnesium storage.
    • Mental, physical, emotional stress
    • Environmental pollutants
    • Excess calcium supplementation
    • Sugar, coffee, sodas and milk
    • Alcohol, tobacco and all types of drugs, including diuretics
    • High-carbohydrate diets
    • Low thyroid and chronic pain

    To correct a magnesium deficiency, the best solution is to take water-soluble magnesium alone, without calcium! Natural Calm (8oz. $19.99) is an effective powdered form of water soluble Magnesium Citrate that assimilates instantly. With 205 mg. of elemental magnesium per teaspoon, it gets rave reviews. Also, homeopathic cell salt Magnesium Phosphoricum 6x ($8.99) can make an enormous difference between a good night’s sleep or one riddled with restlessness, leg twitches and muscle spasms. Once the deficiency has been corrected and symptoms disappear, only then is it recommended to adopt a calcium-magnesium supplement. Stay alert and your body will guide you to know just what it needs when it needs it.

  5. Tania says:

    So raed up on magnesium deficiany, Potassium, Iron and Vitamin B12…

    Let me know what you conclude

  6. Terri says:

    I have had my right eye twitch for at least a month before it stopped. I had relief for about a fortnight, then the left left eye has been twitching for the last month and still going strong. I take magnesium but not on a regular basis. I too have heard that it is a calcium or iron deficiency, but cannot find anything to support this on the net.
    Help!! It’s driving me nuts. I can only put it down to fatigue.

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