Dear Swiftcover Insurance, and by extension, Iggy Pop

Swiftcover, the madness must stop.

When I’m watching television, every time the scheduled programing ends, there’s Iggy Pop, angry and shouting about insurance.

Swiftcover, no matter how much ad-time you’ve purchased, it won’t make your insurance products any more interesting to the general public.

Why do you believe a gaunt, sinewy rock star that resembles a breast-less Wicked Witch of the West is the best possible face for your company? Your company is not that rebellious or it wouldn’t be turning a profit.

You’d be better off having the gnarled wreckage of  car with the spongy crimson remains of a driver hanging out of it with bottle of Jack Daniels in one barely-attached hand as a spokesthing. The wails of the family choking to death on each other’s vomited blood in a crushed minivan opposite would be preferable to hearing Iggy Pop utter, “It’s time to r-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-d-d-d-d-e” ever again.

Just so you know…

Sincerely,

Fergis T. McGillicuddy

Advertisements

7 comments on “Dear Swiftcover Insurance, and by extension, Iggy Pop

  1. BETTY SMILY says:

    DEAR DOG,

    WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOUNG BLUD,YOUR BROTHER?

  2. Good article..

    Keep up the good work!

  3. Neil says:

    Classic case of False Advertisement. Swiftcover Do Not cover Musicians and/or Entertainers so poor old Iggy isn’t Swiftcovered after all.

  4. fergis says:

    Dear BETTY SMILY:

    It’s been so long since a Dog-fan has mistakingly commented here that I’d thought illiteracy finally starved the lot of you out of existence. It’s hard to find something to eat when you can’t read. Here’s a hint: It’s called FOOD.

    See you are using an INTERNET BROWSER to visit this site (FERGIS WRITES LETTERS). While I’d love to say you’ve found a SEARCH ENGINE to solve your query, you have not. You’ve found a blog. So I’d like to kindly refer you to an extremely little known site called GOOGLE that will help you on your quest to find out what happened to Dog’s brother “Young Blud.”

    Sincerely,

    Fergis
    PS: I can’t email you back if you don’t leave an email address. Keep reaching for that rainbow. And please don’t forget to breathe.

  5. Mike says:

    Just passing by.Btw, you website have great content!

    _________________________________
    Making Money $150 An Hour

  6. igmorrison says:

    Dear Fergis,

    If you hate this one, I wonder what you will make of the new offering, that sees Iggy Pop joined by a South Park-esque conjoined twin style ‘Little Iggy’.

    Don’t have nightmares…

    Kind Regards,

    IGMorrison

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s