About the Letter-Writing Machine

Fergis writes letters to people. They can respond. Fergis will publish the responses. Most people don’t respond.
Fergis writes letters to everybody, political officials, celebrities, corporations, bloggers, dead people, and living people. Nobody is safe.

35 comments on “About the Letter-Writing Machine

  1. Hookah Mike says:

    Just saw this on metafilter..is this the fergus I know from georgia and such

  2. fergis says:

    No it is not, I’m afraid. I’ve never been to that part of America, let alone be from it. I’m from Canada, a big country in the snowy north.

    Thanks for reading.

  3. c.trinity says:

    There’s something about you…I don’t know.Dry humor…
    Black humour..either way,your blog makes me smile.

  4. Kara says:

    Write on. Love your tone and the persona that you portray.

  5. I like your stuff: very cool, very dry. Possibly some sort of humidifier / heater is in order. Expect one to be elivered from US homeland security sometime soon.

  6. brandy says:

    thank you for succesflly wasting just over an hour of my time! This job is extreamly boring and i sometimes fall asleep while visiting other pages…….. however i did not fall asleep ….YAY!!!!!!!

  7. kichigai says:

    This is an awesome blog. Just keep on writing.

  8. Jeremy says:

    the site is fine. i’m curious about the half chicken and egg monster though.
    is it a problem not to capitalize anything?

  9. Christina says:

    Dear Dog Bounty Hunter,
    I am very happy to tell you,that you are the best there is in this world,but Leland Chapman ,is so cute and Habdsome ,but I am greatful that you ,have him , be once of best Dog bounty hunter ,I know that it’s hard to image Leland Chapman got your cute from you!?
    From Christina J. Diegel P.S I love you ,all!!

  10. Christina says:

    Dearmr. Leland Chapman ,
    I am so happy that you are A great guy ,but how come your Uncle Tim is so crazy ?Really Sorry Tim ,I know That you are doing your job ,but Leland Chapman is A good guy ,Don’t get mad ,because I love him?!
    From Christina J.Diegel oh ,Dog bounty hunter ,All are great people!

  11. jessica says:

    hello dog hawe is leland.can you tell him that I love him. And i am a fan of you.

    love from jessica

  12. jessica says:

    dog did you get the messidge

  13. fergis says:

    Jessica,

    You’ll notice this isn’t the “About Leland” page nor is it the “Send a Message to Dog” page. It is the “About the Letter-Writing Machine” page. I run it. He’ll never get the “messidge” I’m afraid.

    Maybe you should be more concerned with learning to craft an errorless sentence. Just a thought

  14. deer mr lel chpmn, plse u hve 2 knw that whle u r on the run u cn stay @ my place it is a saff house, Also this guy nmed Fergis is dissing u on the webI love ur show Maybe they r all out 2 get u now. They r all out 2 get me 2 I didnot poisin my last hsband tho they put me away 4 it. Mibbe u cood stop by 4 a meal sometime u would B just like a son 2 me. it took me a long tim 2 rite this I have rsi in my textin fingre so srry 4 any mistkes. ethel

  15. fergis says:

    Hi Ethel,

    “Textin” from prison is difficult…

    “I didnot poisin my last hsband…” Sure you didn’t. I’d kill myself too if I had to live with you.

    My name is Fergis. I am a lighting rod for the illiterate. Perhaps you should look at the domain name of a website before you start “textin” away.

    Sincerly,

    Fergis T. McGillicuddy

  16. Deborah Lynch West says:

    I would like to say I think Ann Coulter is a crazy lunatic looking to get a lot of media coverage. If this woman was on fire I wouldn’t piss on her to put the fire out!!!

  17. Vi says:

    Dear Fergis,

    You forgot to add that you write to inanimate objects as well.

    Sincerely,
    Vi

  18. nina gonzales says:

    dear leland chapmen or dog chapmen my name is nina gonzales im from moses lake washington i would like to know how would i be able to trian with you guys to become a bounty hunter im only 16 but on febuary 3rd 2007 ill be 17 as soon as i graduate i would love to become a bounty hunter and work with you guys please contact me asap p.s. leland your hella hottttttttt! i have pics of u on my binder im your future wife. i watch the show everytime it comes on. beth your awesome i admire you alot.

  19. mariemcc says:

    Dear Fergis:

    These comments are frightening.

  20. fergis says:

    I know. It started out with lucid comments from encouraging readers. Then the Dog fans started commenting…

    I’ve thought about deleting them for my peace of mind but I’ve been told to leave them for laughs.

    Freaky indeed…

    Fergis

  21. amanda says:

    dog hey its amanda and i am leaving you a comment i watch your tv show evertime that is on but i am writting you because it is my mom dream to meet beath and you and all of your worker befpre she pass away and iwould like to tell you whats wrong with her she has 6hernated disk in her back ostofightin her knees and she is a dibetic and she hashigh blood prussar and she has had a stroke she is only 38 years old but she says that yall are the only thing that keeps her going besides her family my sister is with some dude that beats on her and she will not get out of it and she has also had a babby with him ans she wont let us see the babby because we will not accept him because he beats on her and we dont play that please contact me back o yeah i forgot to tell you that my mom is extreamly over weight

  22. fergis says:

    Hello Amanda,

    It’s a shame your mom had a stroke at 38 years old. It’s shitty your sister is with a man that beats her.

    If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, Fergis Writes Letters is not anymore affiliated with Dog the Bounty Hunter than you are. I don’t know the fellow. I don’t forward the messages to him. I’ve mentioned this hundreds of times here.

    I suggest you and your mom get to the nearest public library and pick up some books to read. Reading is good. Reading will help you write more effectively (not to mention more correctly).

    Good luck,

    Fergis

  23. Jaimie says:

    Dear Fergis

    My name is Jaimie. I like most of the people on her like to watch Dog the Bounty hunter but I would never send them a letter on a web sit that does not even have anything to do with the show. I was reading some of the comments and I am not the best at spelling and all the other crap thats goes in to it, but I know enought that if I could not spell I would not send messages with words like Deer(Dear) Mibbe(Maybe) and Srry(Sorry) I text all the time to friends and I still can spell. Also people writing to Dog and the guys don’t people have real live’s that they need to make sure someone on tv know who thay are, news flash thay don’t give a rats ass who you are as long as you watch the show. They get paid no matter what and they really don’t care about the person who makes them who thay are as long as they get that big fat check it don’t matter how much you love them and news flash to all those girls who are like Leland I love you, you are so hotttt marry me get a life. enough of that I out……

    Jaimie

  24. Elly says:

    So…some of you think Fergis needs a humidifier huh.. well i have been to his house, and have no fear their is one

  25. Elly says:

    Fergis… quick question…
    Do you know anything about bending spoons?

  26. Carbol Clap says:

    You seem slightly shifty Fergis; drawing a comparrison to a great pilgrim I know, whom I partook in many voyages under desert sky. If it’s you, honour this invite to once again flounder through an epic adventure. It will most certainly be recorded, and preached as a great story; sung to the ears of sleeping babes!

    -Brandon

  27. suzanne says:

    dear beth dog and family,

    My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. I need to know who I can write letters to on your behalf. It’s horrible what you all are going thru. I love watching your shows because to me your helping not only the people in our society but those you pick up too.

    fondly- suzanne

  28. fergis says:

    Get real Suzanne.

    The flesh-vampires get everybody sooner or later.

    Fergis

  29. Courtney says:

    These fake comments about dog the bounty hunter made me write this comment.

    Fergis, please tell me they are fake. If they aren’t they are so meta they escape me entirely. What a strange turn of events.

  30. fergis says:

    Courtney,

    All the comments appearing on this humble website are 100 per cent genuine, for better or worse.

    Dog the Bounty Hunter fans are like the litmus test for North America’s descent into the dark ages. A&E used to be such a noble network.

    Fergis

  31. Jai Britton says:

    I don’t know where you came from Fergis, but are you married? Available? Up for a casual screw?

    (I’m assuming you’re a guy, if not, that’s okay, too. They have a law in Alberta now, we could marry even if you’re a girl. I’m not sure about the whole screw thing, though. There may be laws against that. Or at least city ordinances.)

  32. Matthew Learoyd says:

    Dear “Fergis”

    I love you.

    also the dog fan comments are explosively funny.

    also your writing is dry, which is the way that I most enjoy writing. thank you!

    come to calgary sometime my good friend, I miss you dearly, and the internet is so very cold.

    …soo coold.

    Matt

  33. charles says:

    hi dog can send me a photo of u and ur family please

  34. charles says:

    hi dog can u please send me a photo of u and ur family

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