Dear Dog, the Bounty Hunter

dog
When I am old and have children, I’ll tell them to be good or else “Dog, will find out and get you.” If they know what’s good for them, they will straighten up and fly right. I’m hoping they won’t realize that bounty hunting is illegal in this country and that my threats are baseless.

I enjoy the way you and your family cleverly carve up the perp’s chance for freedom like a butcher with a laser meat saw.

I can’t wait until your wedding ceremony is broadcast in my region Aug. 8th. The teaser promised a very suspenseful episode. Cold feet at the altar! The drama! It had better end happily.

Even though it probably won’t happen, I hope that after your wedding reception, you’ll rush off and catch a perp in your wedding clothes. I say it wouldn’t happen because you probably wear your regular protective black vests for safety reasons. You know better than I do what danger a meth-fuelled person can pose to your personal security.

Keep on truckn’ Dog.

Sincerely,

Fergis T. McGillicuddy

PS: ‘God’ spelt backwards is ‘Dog.’ Coincidence?

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