Dear Wild Turkey Bourbon

Yesterday, I picked up a bottle of you from the liquor store. Not too surprising given my affinity for your kind of Kentucky bourbon, but what was surprising, was the price. Thirty dollars!  I remember when I could pick up a bottle of Wild Turkey for $24. Those days are apparently long gone. I can’t afford that unless my work starts paying more. What am I to do?

What other liquor should I start drinking? Everything sucks compared to your distinctive character and finish. Your concern for quality and whatnot certainly shows but I’m a man with a worried mind. Is it the cork? Is it gas prices? Is it some form of scarcity that I can’t imagine? Help!

Sincerely,

Fergis T. McGillicuddy

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