Dear Red Arrow

It is with much pleasure I travel from Edmonton to Calgary on your motorcoach. It even has wireless internet capabilities, which makes it simple to maintain correspondence. However, I cannot condone the choice of film on this particular journey.

Across the Universe? Really? What would make you think anybody with ears or eyes could enjoy that film? The brutal sodomy performed on the Beatles’ beautiful music? The clichéd plot and characters? Bono?

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the songs enough. It’s that I love the songs so much I can’t bear to witness them used to prop up such an overwrought script.

I just wanted to see a bad sports movie during my three hour bus ride. Is Mighty Ducks too much to ask?

Sincerely,

Fergis T. McGillicuddy